Too Hot To Handle
by davpo
Summary: A girl has gone missing can Bond find her in time, or is his time up


**note: I just wanna wish everyone a very xemnas lol from kingdom hearts get it**

**anyway joking over merry christmas to all and to all a good night**

**this is my first story on here I hope you enjoy my james bond story :)**

**I watched the Quantum of Solace and Casino Royal and even though they were good they were not great, so I decided right I'm going to have a go at writing one**

**comments please**

**maybe I'll even do a theme tune to it**

**enjoy..**

**Too Hot Too Handle**

_**007**_**James Bond**

**Written by Davpo**

In Malaysia, in 2008 money is going missing, but that's not all...

- 'M' has gone missing.

'M': I'm right here.

- not you, the other 'M'

'M': You don't mean... but no one knows about her, I covered all tracks, how could they know

about little 'M'?

- I'm afraid it doesn't look good.

'M': Bond will have to find out...

- why him?

'M': Despite everything I say, I like him, besides he's the best agent for the job and I trust him.

- what about 005?

'M': He's not ready.. Computer get bond.

phone rings...

'M': Bond?

Bond: Bond is not here, but if you'd like to leave a message...

'M': Bond this is serious, stop playing around. What is your report?

Bond: Well 'M' I am under cover at the moment (lying on a bed with a girl)

'M': Hmmm well I know what that means, well when you've finally finished pumping her for

information get back here now, little 'M' has gone missing.

Bond: I'll be there... sorry sugar job to do.

Sugar: Stay James.

Bond: I'll return I promise,

Flashback of little M…

and the godparent to Emily will be James Bond,

'M': We must make sure nothing happens to her Bond.

Bond: You know me, my word is my Bond. I promise nothing will happen to Emily.

'M': We must delete any records of this, only you and I must know about Emily.

Bond: Understood, Little 'Em' will be okay.

'M': That's it, that will be the code for her, little 'M' You make sure she is safe Bond…

Bond: I promised she would be safe, it is my fault she has gone missing, only one thing to do, start with the school.

Traffic is so bad at this time.. calling helicopter.

Helicopter: Helicopter on it's way,

Bond: Meet me on the roof.

Mrs Maria: As usual Bond, why can't you be like everyone else and use a car?

Bond: I felt this was more important then being stuck in a jam.

So What happened, where was she last?

Mrs Maria: In English, she was writing about the school.

Bond: I don't understand, I told you not to do anything, to keep her identity secret, how could anyone know who she is?

Mrs Maria: Emily is a little girl, perhaps they didn't know who she is, but why her?

005: I am tired of being left out, I am ready, why can't they see that? well now I have little 'M' as my hostage perhaps 'M' will listen to me now.

Banks: The money is safe,

005: Safe in a safe?

Banks: Of course,

005: With Bond around, Safes are never safe, double the guards.

Bond: I fancy a yellow car.

Suddenly a yellow lambergene came screeching round the corner.

Bond: My lucky day. Move out of my way!

Little 'M': I've run out of Blue crayons.

Banks: Do I look like a baby sitter?

005: Just go and get some Banks, I'll look after her, keep an eye out for Bond, he must be stopped, no one will stand in my shadow, if he gets in my way, he will get shot.

Shop Keeper: I don't know anything Mr Smith,

Bond: I want to know where this Girl has gone and you know everything that goes on here.

Shop Keeper: I'm telling you I don't know anything.

Banks: I don't know why we can't just shoot her, she's does nothing but get in the way.

excuse me shop keeper can I have some more crayons please? it's for this crossword I'm doing.

Shop Keeper: Sure that will be £2.

Bond: If he's using those for a crossword then I'm the Queen of Scotland. I'll follow him see where he goes.

Banks: Bond is right behind me, I've got to lose him. If only I brought my gun with me.

They went through the market, where Banks picked up a box of eggs and started throwing them in Bonds direction,

Bond: Damn he knows I'm following him, Bond you are losing your touch,

He picks up some banana's and starts peeling them and throws them in front of Banks, Banks is too busy throwing the eggs to notice and he slips on the banana skins, falls flat on his back and then the box of eggs go flying up in the air and smack right on his head.

Bond: To bake an omlette you've got to break a few eggs, now messy, tell me, who are you working for?

Banks; I will never say a word,

Bond: You just did. Where is the little girl?

Banks: I don't know what you are talking about.

Bond: How would you like to eat raw eggs.

Banks: Yuck anything but that. Okay okay I'll talk it was… bang suddenly he gets shot and Bond turns round hides behind more boxes of eggs, dodging the shots, and in the corner is his next mode of transportation, a pizza bike. He get's on the bike.

Bond: I'll be right back, got to make a delivery.

he rides the bike down the stairs.

- After him he's getting away

They get on their bikes and start chasing him and shooting him, they go through the market, and through a shop where they sell lampshades, Bond knocks one in the way of one bike and the bike trips over the lampshade sending the guy flying.

Bond: I hope now you see the light.

Bond skids to a halt and reverses in the direction of the other guy who is chasing him.

- what is he doing?

He dodged out of the way but now Bond was behind him and he pulled out his mini hook from his watch and used it to pierce the other mans bikes tyres, the bike comes to a stop, the man doesn't, the man goes flying and ends up smacking into a clock.

Bond: Looks like your time is up. Now tell me why were you chasing me.

- I don't know who he is, but he hired me to follow you, you are always in the way Bond.

Bond: i'm not getting anywhere, Where is the girl?

- In Monk street, but they know you are coming.

suddenly a key drops on the floor from the man,

Bond: And what is this for?

- It's for the safe in monk street, this guy has been stealing money from the people.

Bond: He is not going to get away with this, who ever he is.

....: Stop right there Mr Bond, don't move.

Bond: Ah and you are?

Ivanta: my name is Ivanta, Ivanta More.

Bond: I can see why.

Ivanta: Ah Mr Bond always so witty, it will be the end for you.

Bond: Well the end has to come sometime.

Ivanta: What's the matter Mr Bond am I too hot to handle for you?

Bond: Why don't you put that gun down and I can take you to dinner.

Ivanta: You think that's going to work with me? What did you do with the key?

Bond: What key?

Ivanta: You know what key.

Bond: Maybe I ate it.

Ivanta: You will regret it.

Bond Oh and I thought we were getting on so well.

He kicked the gun out of her hands and then kun fu'd his way out the door, but she grabbed hold of him and threw him over her shoulder, crash went the lampshades, Bond managed to escape but she was hot on his feet, he went into a furniture store, she started throwing chairs at his head.

Ivanta: Have a seat!

Manager: Hey hey hey, that is mine, I hope you are going to pay for that.

Bond: give it up Ivanta.

Ivanta: Never.

They grasped eachother in eachothers arms struggling together, she kicked him in his knee, he swept her feet from under her, she lands on a bed, he jumps on top of her holding her arms, then realizing he was on a bed, kisses her. and she kissed him back, well being Bond, she couldn't resist. Now she was on his side.

Bond: Well that was, unexpected. Now tell me I want answers, who is trying to kill me?

Ivanta: 005.

Bond: Of course, he is jealous, let me guess he kidnapped the girl so that 'M' would get annoyed and then she would send me, in which he would kill me and then he would take my place, magicaly find the missing girl and then he would become the top secret agent.

005: clap clap clap well done Mr Bond, Ivanta I am disappointed in you. and now Mr Bond, you will die.

Bond: You won't get away with this.

005: ha ha Mr Bond you have a gun pointed at your head, now give me the key.

Bond throws the key to 005, but before he does he presses a button on his watch, and copies the key, then he grabs Ivanta and runs out the door with bullets narrowly missing him.

005: Don't just stand there after him!

Bond: Taxi!

a taxi pulls up and Bond drags the driver out of the taxi.

Bond: Thanks, get in Ivanta.

Taxi driver: Hey come back here with my cab!

005 and his henchmen get into a buggy and start chasing Bond in the taxi, he speeds along the high street and driving on pathway turning sharp corners, but couldn't shake 005's buggy, suddenly the bullets hit the taxi's tyres and Bond had to swerve to control the taxi, which is speeding out of control, there was only one thing to do, use the Railway, he drove the taxi onto the rails, with the buggy behind him, the tyres disintegrated and just left rims, the rims neatly slotted onto the rails, but they didn't count on a train coming full speed towards them.

Bond: On the count of 3 we jump, 1, 2, 3

they jumped out of the moving taxi, and the train crashed into the taxi and smashed it to smithereens.

Bond: Phew that was close.

Ivanta: James my hero.

she kisses him.

005: Ah touching,

and 005 fires two shots at Bond...

Ivanta: No! James.

005: At last Bond is dead, now come with me, Ivanta.

Ivanta: Never!

005: Like you have a choice, get her.

the henchmen grab Ivanta and they leave on the buggy.

005: Oh Bond, what a shame, parting is such sweet sorrow.

Bond: Am I glad, I listened 'M' and wore a bullet proof vest, I swear 005, you are not getting away with this, now to rescue Ivanta and little 'M' and get the money and give it back to the people. The problem is though, there could be loads of guards, I'll go to Monk street in the middle of the night. Helicopter, come and pick me up.

Helicopter: On my way.

A quick change into nigt time burgular type costume, somehow lol and equipped with a grapple hook tied to a rope, standing outside Monk street in an alleyway breathing cold air.

Bond: Let's do this,

he throws the grapple hook onto the windo frame and climbs up the rope and slides into the window, he sprays around looking for trip beams, of course there are loads, with a switch at the other end of the hall to switch them off.

Bond: I feel lucky.

he jumped and ducked and dodged under and over the trip beams reaching the other side and flicked the switch turning the beams off.

The next room was covered with guards, how on earth can he get passed this, how about using something called a sleeping bomb, sending all the guards to sleep.

he crept passed the now sleeping guards and unlocked the safe. he put the money in his pocket and opened the door, inside the door was Little 'M' and Ivanta tied to a chair.

Ivanta: Bond you are alive!

Bond: don't worry I will get you out of here.

005: clap clap clap when are you going to learn to die Mr Bond?

Bond: You first.

throwing his grapple hook at 005's gun grabbing it out of the way, he untied Little 'M' and Ivanta and ran with them.

'M': That's far enough 005.

Little 'M': Aunty 'M' Aunty 'M'

005 gets taken away.

'M': No Bond, don't kill him, it's over. Little 'M' is safe and the money has been recovered.

Bond: All in a days work.

he grabs Ivanta.

Bond: Well if you don't mind 'M' I'm going to take some much needed vaction.

'M' sigh I wouldn't expect anything less from you Bond. Bond?

Bond: Yes 'M?

'M': Make sure you come back in one peice.

Bond: I can try.

the end...

James Bond will return in 2009


End file.
